Something Bad Happened
Two days before my flight from Berlin to Mongolia (September 2024)
Right before a 3.5-week trip offline, where I had planned the adventure of a lifetime. My dream trip since 2019 was to go to Mongolia and live with the eagle hunters near the Khzahk border.
This trip represented something very salient for me: that I was finally free.
I did it.
I pulled the whole thing off.
This whole online business thing.
I left the town I grew up in.
I traveled the world.
I figured out my talents.
I applied 10,000 hours of mastery.
I committed.
I persisted.
I showed up.
I have been through a lot.
You know that saying, “diamonds are formed under pressure”?
I really know what that means now.
If you’ve been following me for a while, you probably know a few snippets, but believe me, there are so many betrayals that happened behind closed doors that I chose not to share.
This brings me to my point.
You may look at my life, or perhaps my business success, and think, “whoa, she has it all!”
Or, something similar…
(I used to look at others, especially on social media, and think this exact sentiment)
The last two days since landing in Ulaanbataar, I have been on the phone with lawyers, trying to determine the best course of action, considering I only have two days of access to proper wifi when I get to Seoul, South Korea, from the 9th - 11th of October.
Which puts me in a very difficult situation.
… on top of everything that has happened over the last 3 months.
… on top of the infinite betrayals, lying, cheating and losses over the last few years. Not sure what I’m talking about? Listen to episodes 1 & 2 of my podcast where I share how I lost my entire life savings (and 20 years of my mum’s savings) in my ex’s crypto hedge fund (while he was lying to me and living with another woman - oh yeah, there was a love triangle too. FUN!)
Listen to episode 1 here.
Listen to episode 2 here.
That should get you roughly up to speed.
Back to the present day.
Last night, I asked myself, “what are the current events teaching me?”
My intuition is laser-precise. It knows things. Like, it really knows. (Ok, let’s call a spade a spade. I’m PSYCHIC lol).
So I asked myself… why would my intuition tell me to do all of the exact specific things it told me to do if I was going to end up with this awful situation? (keeping it vague until after it’s fully resolved)
There must be a more profound, higher reason for this.
Then, my intuition answered:
“This is an opportunity to practice even deeper compassion.”
Suddenly, the events of the last few months made sense. I understood my assignment.
You see, there is an old Chinese proverb, “a crisis is an opportunity riding the dangerous wind”
Whenever I think of this proverb, I think of my first Spiritual Teacher, Dr. John Demartini, whom I trained with to become a facilitator in 2018.
One of the laws of our universe is that nothing is ever positive or negative; there are two sides to everything. This is The Law of Polarity.
In old Buddhist texts, specifically in Taoism and Zen, this is written about in depth.
We must accept both sides of life’s coin.
To seek happiness or one-sidedness without also accepting the other half is unwise. To think that life will ever exist without its challenges is a fool’s errand.
True wisdom and mastery is knowing there is no good without bad, no light without dark.
It’s walking the line in total acceptance and surrender (as much as humanly possible)
I realised that what this year has taught me so far are the most profound lessons in awe, appreciation and compassion.
Because many horrible things have happened to me.
Things that I don’t have control over.
But I do not let these things determine my fate.
We all have a great power within us—the power to choose our perception and how we respond.
This perception & response ultimately determines what happens next in our unfolding.
When this all happened, I could have thought, “oh my god, this has completely ruined the trip I’ve been dreaming of for 5 years.”
But instead, I chose to focus on the deep gratitude I felt that my oldest friend in the world, is an incredible Human Rights Lawyer in Canberra, and she was able to emotionally hold, support and provide guidance at one of the most excruciating moments of my life.
How can one not be grateful for something like that?
6 weeks ago, right after my nervous breakdown, I went to a rave with one of my friends who is a DJ. At the time I had very dark thoughts (I’ll spare you)... and instead of letting that get me down and ruin the rave, I chose to focus on the incredible man (now my lover) who appeared as if from nowhere, who took care of me and provided me with deep feelings of safety and care.
I cry almost daily from the depth of gratitude I feel (despite the worst of circumstances at times).
The answer to life is very simple (not easy, but simple).
Whenever possible, practice these three things:
Awe
Appreciation
Compassion
The question now, is, will you ride the dangerous winds of life and find the hidden blessings in the inevitable crises of our universe?